As far as I am concerned, Christmas should not happen this year. I am just not feeling it. Christmas is literally around the corner, and I am not excited, I have no inclination to be festive or to get into the holiday spirit.To be honest, if I had the choice I would pass on Christmas this year, in fact I would pass on New Years and also my birthday. I just cannot be arsed. The effort, the stress, the weight gain. Pointless. Why not forget it all exists and just relax.
This year will be the first year that I am working straight through the holiday season. I know it sounds spoilt, but I really am quite dissapointed about the whole thing. I think its because not only is it Christmas, and then NYs, but it is also my birthday. I was the child that wished my parents reproduced a little bit later than they did, because having my birthday at the very beginning of Jan sucks. Mum and Dad, if you are reading this, July would of been a better choice. Just sayin'.
And I will be turning 21. This is the year I really need to sort my shit out. And it scares me! I will have to be an adult, and make proper decisions instead of silly ones here and there! I need to focus, and direct my life so that I have some kind of future, and I dont want to. What I want, is for someone to magically fix it for me. Someone to pay off all of my debt, to buy me a house, to finish my degree and do all of lifes boring things. Whilst I sit in Hawaii drinking Malibu and coke. (I think I am still a little bitter about not receiving my Hogwarts letter)
I just feel exceptionally mediocre. Life is just average at the moment, nothing seems to be working or going how I want it to go. All I want to do is curl up and hibernate till this passes. I wish I could do something that I loved, and I wish I could have an amazing career instantly. I think this is where you go, ' You can, you just have to work hard!'. Yes well I don't want to work hard thank you very much. I work hard every day, and its not getting me anywhere.
However, if you are feeling like me, rather average and just a bit over life, treat yourself! A good friend told me the importance of treating yourself and I honestly feel like this is the best advice ever. We need to treat ourselves, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY! If you don't treat yourself, what do you have to look forward to? This doesnt mean eating all the poptarts in the house whilst watching Harry Potter. That is not treating yourself, just an FYI.
Apologies for the rambly post, but thanks for reading!